Oh How The Tides Turn
by DoggyDog13
Summary: Just some rambling about our favorite YuGiOh characters! How life would be without dueling. CHAPTER 3 UP! BAKURA TURNS... Emo? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR MEN! nothing against emos!
1. Stray Dog Wheeler, Aka Joey Wheeler

Oh How The Tide Turns

Just some rambling about our favorite Yu-Gi-Oh characters! What would be life without dueling for Joey, Yugi, Seto, Yami, Marik, and even Pegasus! Just how a regular day would be for everyone…

Also everyone in the story is still friends just there was never dueling…

Day 1: Stray Dog Wheeler, Joey's Pov

"Joey… Joey. Joey! JOEY!" I heard the voice of my so-called gentle sister yell.

"Ya! I'm up, I'm up!" I exclaimed as I groggily climbed out of bed.

She just rolled her eyes and left my room. I turned on the radio and heard the song Hit Me Baby One More Time. "AHHH!" I screamed chucking my radio across the room.

I thought it was over… BUT I COULD STILL HEAR IT! "DIE!" I yelled as I thwacked the radio with my lamp.

The door opened and there was my two best friends Tristin and Yugi standing there eyeing me weirdly. One because there was Britney Spears music blasting, two I was shirtless, and three I was yelling at an inanimate object while beating it up with a lamp. I chuckled and hid the lamp behind my back.

Right when I did that the radio turned off, I growled. "Good morning Joey…" Yugi said with wide eyes.

"Erm yea… I'll be out in a minute…" I then shoved them out of my room and slammed the door.

The radio turned back on with Britney Spears… I finally came to my senses and threw the piece of shit out of the window… I could've sword I heard someone scream. I got dressed into my usual dorky school uniform which I despised. Sighing I grabbed my backpack and entered the kitchen where Yugi was doing extra credit and Tristin was once again flirting with Serenity.

"Eh-hem!" I coughed.

No one noticed and kept about their business. I stomped my foot, but still no response. "DAMN IT I'M READY!" I shouted.

"Oh hey Joey!" They all said smiling.

I shuddered… Everyone was planning against me… "Well lets get going I don't wanna be late again ya know."

"Okay hang on let me finish this math problem…" Yugi said, not taking his eyes of the in my opinion evil paper.

How could he be so obsessed with math and books? Tristin was the opposite and was only interested in eating and girls, a.k.a my sister. I rolled my eyes and decided to leave by myself. "I'm leaving now!" I called out.

No one cared. I growled under my breath and started walking. The way was over, not only were there stray dogs following me but my backpack broke and my homework spilled everywhere! "Gah! Don't touch dat!" I yelled, taking as many papers so the dogs wouldn't eat them.

"Great now how am I supposed to tell my teachers that everyone's dog ate my homework!" I hate mornings… And to make things the certain person who I did not want to see showed up! Seto Kaiba…

"Hey mutt stay behind the pack!" He said rolling down the limo window and pointing to the dogs surrounding me.

"Shut up rich boy!" I yelled, putting a fist up in the air.

"Yeah I am rich…" He said, looking at his sparkling so-called "Pimp" earrings.

Okay that was just creepy to me… "Yeah whateva… I gotta go now… Erm bye!" I yelled taking off at full speed towards school.

And just as luck would have it I was late! When I got to class Tristin and Yugi were already there! My jaw dropped open! I then passed them a note that said, 'How did you get to class earlier then me?'

Then after a while they passed it back to me. I grew furious of what it said, 'Seto gave us a lift!'

"ARGH!" I yelled standing up. Bad move I then noticed all my peers staring at my teacher and me with a stern gaze on her face.

"Shit…" I mumbled under my breath.

"CARE TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD JOSEPH WHEELER!" She angrily yelled.

"What?" I innocently said.

"To the office with you!" With that she pointed out the door.

With my head hung low I trotted out to the office. I sat down in the principles office; luckily he was not here yet. I let out a breath of sweet relief. A devious grin spread across my face as I looked through the principles items. My eyes went wide and I out loud spoke, "Jack-pot!"

His desk was loaded with porn magazines and all those goodies! I looked through the porn and smiled. My victorious moment was cut short but a grunt. "JOSEPH WHEELER!" He yelled grabbing all the porn from me.

"What? It was just lying there!" I tried to explain.

"YOU'RE EXPELLED FOR A WEEK GET YOUR STUFF AND LEAVE NOW!" He angrily yelled.

I growled and immediately retrieved my stuff to leave this hellhole. Before leaving the building completely I ran around the school and yelled, "FUCK YOU ALL! THE PRINCIPLE READS PORN AND ALL THE TEACHERS ARE ON CRACK!"

The peanut gallery just shrugged, by all my odd actions they were used to it by now. I then ran out of the school and ran to the mall. I then entered the food court first of course. I ate some random Italian food and then I saw three girls approach me, giggling. One was a red head, the other had black hair, and the other was a blonde. "OH MY GOSH IT'S CHARLIES ANGELS!" I yelled.

Suddenly the mall fell silent with all eyes on me. In the moment of the silence a baby started crying and someone sneezed but that's about it. The girls went shifty eyed and then there was a huge explosion over by Burger King. The king mascot came running out with several explosions and guns. "WAKE UP WITH THE KING!" He yelled.

"Now dat's disturbing…" I said, un-conferrable.

Soon explosions and gunshots replaced the silence. I was to hungry to move or anything so when I finished I just threw it out and left to the movie theater. When I arrived no one was there… And it was quiet… To quiet… Of course I was right and Ronald McDonald came out of the bathroom with red eyes and walking wobbly.

Yup he was definitely high. "Hey little boy… Come here…" He whispered looking at me.

I looked around hoping that he meant someone else but no one was there. "I'm not a little boy…"

He looked disappointed but smiled, "I'll give you a happy meal if you come here!"

I gasped, "Okay!" I then went into the bathroom and realized there were no happy meals. "Hey dere's no happy-"

The clown giggled. He locked the door and came walking towards me. "Put a smile on you're face…"

I then realized his intentions, "AHH HE'S RAPING ME HELP!" I yelled pounding on the door.

Then I blacked out.

13 hours later, 10:00 P.M. Current Location: Ball Pit in McDonalds.

I awoke and felt around. "Whew…" I said letting out a breath of relief. I still had my pants on… BUT NO SHIRT! I looked to the other end of the ball pit and found Ronald looking for something.

His whole head turned around to reveal a creepy stared on his face. "I KNEW IT WE WERE MEANT TO BE! I'M PREGNANT!" He squealed.

I just wanted to puke… He did rape me… "EW!" I then ran out of the ball pit and out of McDonalds.

I turned around and exhaled, he wasn't following me. I needed some relief… So I went to the closest strippers bar in town… When I got there I ordered one cold beer with no questions asked. "Here's your beer sir…" A feminine voice said that sent chills up my spine.

When I looked up I gasped, "MAI?" It was indeed Mai Valentine in a skimpy outfit… It made her look sexy…

I shook the thoughts out of my head and smiled at her… This was going to be a fun night…

I then leaned in to her lips and she backed away until she was up against the wall. "What are you doing-" She was then cut off by a large explosion.

"ALRIGHT WHICH HOE WANTS TO WAKE UP WITH THE KING!" The mascot from burger king yelled.

"Hide Mai…" I whispered.

She nodded and pushed me towards the king. I didn't have anything to worry about… Did I?

"I'll take this hoe right here!" The king said, waving a $100.00 dollar bill in the air.

"HEY I'M WORTH MORE THEN THAT!" I found my self protesting.

The king winked and pulled out three hundred dollar bills.

I went wide eyed and realized he was serious. "NOO!" I yelled running out of the bar and back to my house for the night.

I ran in door and shut behind me, panting. I then walked in to my room and… OH MY GOSH TRISTIN, SERENITY AND KAIBA WERE ALL DOING IT ON MY BED! "GET THE FUCK OFF MY BED!"

They all didn't hear me and continued their 'stuff'. I then felt a tug at my pants, I looked down and it was some random boy scout. "Who the fuck are you?" I said slightly annoyed.

He just nodded and gave me a radio. After that he skipped out of the apartment singing merrily. I shrugged and blasted Britney Spears. "AHHH!" They all screamed immediately getting dressed.

"Guess what big brother! Tristin and Kaiba have the biggest things ever! Seto's is-" I then cut her off.

"I don't care! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM ALL OF YOU!" They all looked scared and scrambled out of my room.

I dare not sleep on my bed so that night I slept in my closet with the teddy bears…

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Review Please! Creative Critism would be

Better then flames!


	2. Mr PIMP, Aka Seto Kaiba

Oh How The Tides Turn

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Damn lawyers!)

Okay this chapter will be about Seto and his life without dueling. Who do you want to be next? I'll let you choose in your reviews! So… RACE FOR YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER! (Kind of…)

Day 2; Mr. P.I.M.P: Seto's pov

I yawned and stretched out in my king size bed with leopard sheets. Of course like every night I had 3 girls right next to me, it was great to be the founder… Well I mean I inherited my stepfathers company for chess… At least it used to be chess, but since I inherited it, it's been pure post-its.

Yeah post-its… Everyone uses them and being the brilliant genius I am, there are even custom made post-its. Gee my stepfather was such a queer… I mean who would make millions off chess? Must have been a lot of queers back then. I spanked all three of the ladies, "Alright you're check is down stairs ladies and if you don't mind I have to get ready for school 'yall!"

They all giggled and spoke at the same time, "We'll do this for free anytime… Give us a call we love you Seto!"

I gave off a flashy white smile and flexed my arms. They all swooned and finally went back down stairs. As for me I began my day by grabbing my stereo remote and blasting it. I sang along, "I'll take you to the candy shop… I'll let you lick the-" I then stopped and put on my uniform.

Despite the ugly uniform I still looked damn hot and sexy like the playa I was… Oh yeah! I heard a knock at my door, it was my brother Mokuba. I got up and answered the door and he spoke, "Yo bro! You gots my bling-bling!"

I shook my head and gave him his toys back. He would learn that he only has the 17-carrot bling while I got the 20 carrots in total yo! So when I was done getting dressed and doing my hair and stuff I chose some bling to wear. "Argh! This is such a hard choice!"

I decided to go with my rings and pimp chain around my neck that said "KC" for Kaiba Crunk! I had some pimp pop tarts and some bootylicious Crunk Juice! "Wells I'm off to school! Peace out!" I then called my Limo and waited for it.

Finally after a brutal 20 seconds of waiting it arrived. I scolded them for being late as we drove to school. "HUMMER LIMO YEAH BOY!" I shouted waving like a rapper out of the sunroof. Every girl swooned, some boys were angry; some boys envied me, and other boys… Swooned…

It didn't matter; after all I wasn't a hate'ah! I arrived on time while all the cheerleaders walked me to class. I then stretched out in my seat and realized my long rival for scoring had arrived. Sure he might have not been as big but it was Duke Devlin… And there was only enough room for one Pimp!

Of course he hated rap and all it stood for. He was a rock guy, but still! He enjoyed the ladies as any man would! I guess it's the mascara that drove the ladies for him and the dice. Even though I was a guy I found some males pretty attractive to.

Joey Wheeler, Yami Yugi, Duke Devlin, and Yami Bakura were some of the guys that I considered sexy. Not as sexy as me though, no way no how! Finally the lesson began and luckily for me the teacher was a female so I didn't ever get in trouble.

After all my classes it was lunchtime. I decided to sit with my Pimp and Jock friends. "Hey watzzup Seto?"

I patted my chest and gave him the peace sign, "Scored last night as usual… This time with three ladies!"

Everyone awed and Duke came up to me, "Wow Seto three huh? I guess you've been sleeping in America. Look at me I've been scoring every night with 5 chicks!"

I clenched my fist and yelled angrily, "Yeah? Well I bet that I can score with 10 chicks in one night before you can! I bet you 10 other hoes! So what do you say hommie?"

Duke rolled his eyes and slammed his fist on the table, "Go fuck your groupies cause you're about to get Punk'd!" He then smirked and walked away to his group.

A guy at my table asked, "Are you sure you can beat him? I mean because I even think he looks hot and I'm a jock and jocks are straight!"

I waved him off and closed my eyes, "Don't sweat it man! I got it all under control I can ask any girl to come over to my mansion. Hey I'll even get it all on tape tonight!"

"Really that'd be awesome!" They all exclaimed.

I then struck a pose and slyly opened an eye, "Yup and it'll be sold for $19.99 no extra charge of course cause you're my gangsters!"

They all whooped and hollered, cheering me on. However I wondered what Duke was going to do… On the way out of the lunchroom a mutt ran into me sending me on my booty! "What the fuck? Aw man Joey?"

He just continued running but I shouted after him, "YOU BETTER STOP OR I'M GONNA GET WOOP ASS ON YOU!"

Joey stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned around. After a brief pause he burst out in laughter and continued running. I would get revenge I didn't have to worry a bit. I heard my cell phone ringing so I answered it, "Where you at?"

"We have a deal don't forget if you don't score with 10 chicks tonight the deal is off… Same goes for me and you should be checking the local porno theater for the big premiere of how I, Duke Devlin scored with 10 girls before the so called Great and Amazing Seto Kaiba. Good luck you'll need it Mr. Pimp!" Duke said, the last part sarcastically.

I clutched my phone angrily and realized he had already hung up. Then all of a sudden I found myself in bed with 10 of them… Yes and I got it all on tape! Right away I paid all of them and phoned Duke. It rung a few times before he picked up the phone, "This is the Duke."

"Yeah I just want to let you know I scored with ten of them! So I win!" I triumphantly said.

He chuckled, "I scored with eleven! I win, now instead of giving me 10 hoes… You have to go to school as a cross dresser!"

"NOOOO!" I dramatically yelled.

Tomorrow would suck balls…

Poor Seto! Haha well please review!


	3. The Emo HornDog, Aka Bakura

Oh How The Tides Turn

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh (Damn lawyers!)

Okay this chapter is about Bakura and his life without dueling. Him and his Yami are seperate but, his Yami and him are room mates.

Enjoy

The Emo Horn-Dog, AKA Bakura

I fluttered my eyes open. Music filled the air... I opened my door, and found I was on a ship of some sort. I then looked over board.

"NEVER LET GO ROSE! NEVER!" Jack said, through chattered teeth.

"Aw man! What the fuck is up with the titanic?"

I then woke up fully.

"Whew! It was only a nightmare!"

The strange thing was, ever since me and my Yami got seperated I had strange nightmares filled with dramatic movies. And I just happened to be right in the middle. For example, other movies I've had dreams about were,

Napolean Dynomite, where I was the llama,

Aristocats, where I was Thomas O'Malley,

The Notebook, where I was... Ally...

Yeah the last one is really creepy, since they basically have 5 sex scenes in the movie! AND IT'S RATED PG-13! DAMN HORMONES!

Oh yeah did I also tell you? Ever since Yami and I seperated, and we basically shared the same body, but different minds... Well he gave me his perverted thoughts... So now I'm basically stuck thinking about sex and getting boners 24/7. Well it wasn't all bad, because I would pull that innocent act and pretend I don't know what's gonig on... Gets the girls every time...

"Wake up you horny bastard!" Yami's voice yelled.

I groaned and peered over the covers. There was a huge... Well "pole-like" thing sticking up... Yeah... I had morning wood...

I sighed and started rubbing on it... While I rubbed I began to think about how I would get rid of these raging hormones... I mean I already got 4 girls pregnant and it was only half way through school! What was I going to do.

Before I even know it, there will be baby Bakura's crawling all over the place. Bloody hell! I got up finally after the "pole" had been rubbed down.

I got in my school uniform... Something was wrong with it... BLOODY HELL! "YAMI WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY UNIFORM!" I yelled.

I heard foot steps stomp at my door. He then swung the door open... And... I WAS FRICKEN HALF NAKED! Plus, he had his shirt off. Oh great and I just rubbed down too! I felt it start to tingle... Here it comes...

"What the hell are you talking about Bakura?" He shouted, angerily.

"Look at how tight the fricken pants are. You can see the outline of my penis!" I yelled back.

He came close and looked at it. "I thought you liked it like that."

I blushed, "Well..."

I didn't even have to say any more. He grabbed it and gave it a squeeze before leaving the room.

Alright... That was to awkward... Anyways I then put on my school jacket and zipped up my pants. Before leaving the room, I rubbed it on it one last time.

"Bye Yami! I want to get to school early today. The French teacher wants to tutor me for some strange odd reason." I heard snickering from the kitchen.

The snickering soon became chuckling, and before I knew it, he was evily laughing! Okay... I tip-toed out of the apartment and shut the door behind me. I then ran down the halls, but still heard the evil laughter echo through the apartment... God knows what he's doing in there...

Anyways, I got funny stares from girls, at my pants. I kept my eyes down with my hair in my face. They say there's nothing girls love more then "emo" guys. The only problem was... I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BE EMO!

There's only one person who can teach me how to be emo... Duke Devlin.

I then eagerly skipped off to school in search of Duke Devlin. "Crap! I have french!" I mentally slapped myself and sped off in the other direction for French.

Finally I arrived outside the classroom.

"Bonjour..." I heard my French teacher seductivly say.

I gulped. The last thing I wanted was getting my French teacher pregnant! I felt myself get larger... I dug in my backpack and found it... My fanny pack! It would cover my boner for now.

"Bonjua?" I said, full of confusion. Somehow I think that was the wrong way to say hello...

She giggled. "Come in Bakura."

I gulped and opened the door.

"HOLY FRICKEN CRAP!"

Was I in the right classroom? What the hell? There was a hot-tub where the teachers desk was. And a king sized bed where the desks were. Where was the teacher. I then suddenly felt hot breath on my neck.

I turned around. I nervously smiled, "Hey Ms. Sexwithstudent!"

"That's Mrs." She seductivly smiled.

"You're married?" I asked, with bug eyes.

"Wee. But that does not matter." She said in a French accent.

I then tried to speak but she shushed me with her finger to my lips. Oh God! Was she about to do it with me? I mean sure the French teach was a babe! Hot! SEXY! BOOTYLISCIOUS! Why did Seto come in to my mind when I said the last part?

I shook him out of my head.

I gazed into the deep purple eyes, locks of red that fell down her almost bare chest, juicy lips puckering up, slim hands wrapped around me. I felt my self... Undressing...

Was I donig this? I then looked over to the classroom door. IT WAS WIDE OPEN! What was I going to do! Oh me! Oh my! Oh-- OHH! OH GOD THAT FELT SO GOOD! What did she just do. Holy crap! I was already bare naked and she was too. I looked down and she had my firm cock in her hand! And was running her hand up and down on the shaft!

She looked up and licked her lips. I looked down and stared...

I then blacked out...

"Ugh my penis... What happened?" I then felt as if I was actully in love with the French teacher... Could this be? I looked over and decided to say I loved her... But just when I looked over... SHE WAS MAKING OUT WITH THE PRINCIPLE!

I screamed! Leaping out of the classroom naked. I ran into the bathroom and began to cry in a stall. I sniffled and came out. "Woah Bakura what are you doing? And naked?"

It was the voice of... Could it be... DUKE! "DUKE! FINALLY I FOUND YOU! YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME TO BE EMO SO MRS. SEXWITHSTUDENT WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!"

His face twisted into disgust. He went in a stall and threw up. "Alright don't mind that... Anyways say what? You want to be Emo?"

I nodded my head eagerly. "Yup yup!"

He smacked his hand against his fourhead. "It's not as easy as this looks... Alright we'll first get you in the style... Then work on your emo-ness."

"First..." He then dug in his bag... "Put on these."

"Where did you get-"

"NOW!" He yelled.

I wimpered and got dressed. When I was done I looked in the mirror. "WOAH! EMO!" I happily squealed clapping my hands together.

I had on skinny tight ripped, black jeans. My shirt was a white with red lettering on it that said, "PANIC! AT THE DISCO." Why would I panic at a disco? Duke flashed me a thumbs up.

"Am I ready to be emo yet?"

He shook his head in reply. I frowned.

"Almost done with your style. Just sit back and let me work some emon-ness." He then cracked his fingers.

I closed my eyes and felt tickling on my fingers and eyes... Something was then slipped on my feet and wrists. Then my hair was going all over the place, I heard snipping of scissors. And felt sticky gell go into my hair. Finally there was the spray of smelly hair-spray.

"Open up Mr. Emo." He chuckled.

I opened one eye... Then the other eye... "I LOOK HOT!"

I looked down at my feet, and had red and white checkored slip on vans. My nails had black paint on them. I had fishnet arm warmers. Outlining my eyes... Was pitch black smeared eyeliner. Then my hair... Oh god my hair was sexy!

Plain white hair, in my eyes, parted to the left and a bit spiky in the back. "OH GOD DUKE! YOU'RE A MIRACLE WORKER! BARE MY CHILDREN!"

Dead silence...

His eyes looked away, "Anyways... One more touch..."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

"This may hurt a little bit."

I felt his hand gently grab my lip. "OUCH!"

I opened my eyes. My lip was pierced on the bottom. It was... SEXY!

I forgot the pain and smiled.

"Alright remember you're not fully emo yet!"

"Why not?" I cheerly asked.

"Umm your personality. This is what you need to do."

I took out a note book and pen.

"Number one: Sulk

"Number two: Be sad!

"Number three: hate your life

"Number four: for dramatics, cut your wrists without killing yourself.

"Number five: Kiss boys. Girls find that hot.

"Number six: WEAR TIGHT JEANS AND SHIRTS.

"Number seven: Write suicidal notes without killing yourself.

"Number eight: Wear Eyeliner!

"Number nine: Write suicidal poetry with angsty words.

"Number ten: listen to emo music.

He finally finished in one breath.

"Is that it Duke?"

He nodded. "Any questions?"

"So emo music is like... Christina Aguleria?"

He smacked his fourhead. "HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EMO?"

"THAT ONE SONG! I AM BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! THAT'S A DEPRESSING SONG!" I yelled and burst out in tears.

"Excellent! You got it half right. Chicks dig it when boys are emotional and cry."

I whipped my tears, "I don't care! My heart is shattered... I need to mend..."

He clapped his hands. "Okay here are some emo bands"

I took out my notebook.

"Bleedy rip stab

"My heart crys

"DIE DIE DIE!

"sk84life

"I kiss boyz

"tightjeansmachines

(A/N: THESE ARE MADE UP!)

"Maybe they can save me from this chaotic pit called life."

"Yes Bakura they can. And poetry too!"

"Good luck being emo!"

He happily waved me away.

I left the bathroom looking down.

When I took two steps out. GIRLS FLOCKED ME! EMO BOYS FLOCKED ME! SETO FLOCKED ME! WHAT THE FUCK? SETO?

Anyways... I felt something tingle...

SHIT I WAS STILL HORMONAL AS EVER!

I burst out in tears and ran for home.

The crowd chased me... Life sucks. I was emo.

I don't have anything against Emo's personally but I over exaggerated it greatly.

REVIEW AND I'LL BE YOUR SLAVE!

DOGGYDOG


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